Finding The Right Wine Part A

When courting a young lady, taking a walk inside of a cavernous meadow, or having a delightful nap the most difficult decision a man has to make is, what wine is right? Not only that, what wine is correct for the occasion, what kind of occasion are we having, and who should be allowed to come? For example, I was hosting a youth-group and I bought 3 liters of fruit punch for the kids. Much to my dismay the community center I was volunteering at booked the wrong event. So at 8 o’ clock sharp 17 vagrants, who expected a knife show, came into the gymnasium demanding wine and knife tricks. At first I panicked, but then I realized the fourteen simple rules of wine.

First off we already had fruit punch and as we all know by now homeless people like sweet wine. So I called up my friend Rufus who happens to work at a gin wholesaler and he rushed down to the event and we made possibly the greatest home made wine of all time. I owed Rufus a favor for over seven years until we took a trip to Guatemala and I paid one-hundred and thirty bucks (American dollars) for a night of passion with his step-daughter. So we evened out on that exchange. I got gin for vagrants, a couple happy endings and Rufus is one-hundred and thirty dollars richer. We never did any knife tricks for the vagrants, but in the end we all had so much fun nobody noticed.

Yours truly - Guy Mahogany